Archive - Jul 2011 - Entertainment News Article
Fido says he wants to join a dating service.
Me, I was listening to a baseball game, concentrating on a two-on, two-out, one-run game, and this took me by surprise.
â€śWhat the heck-fire?â€ť said I.
â€śItâ€™s not that Iâ€™m lonely, but Iâ€™d like to have someone of my ilk to share experiences, romp around, get into sniffing contests, have conversations, discuss brands of kibble, that kind of thing.
â€śGood God, man,â€ť I said. â€śMammoth has more dogs than humans. Are you sure youâ€™re not already sitting on a canine gold mine?â€ť
Fido rolled over on his side and let out a long breath.
â€śTo live alone one must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle. Leaving out the third case: one must be both - a philosopher.â€ť
â€śWhaa?â€ť I says.
Fido repeated it.
â€śIâ€™ve heard this before,â€ť says I to Fido. Me, I was listening to the baseball game.
â€śItâ€™s Friedrich Nietzsche,â€ť says Fido.
â€śI can hardly believe my ears,â€ť I says to him. â€śYou buy that?â€ť
â€śDunno,â€ť says Fido. â€śIâ€™ll believe anything if thereâ€™s a biscuit in it.â€ť
Fido and I are playing checkers.
Most people think checkers is a kids' game, but checkers is more complicated than you'd think. Even more than that, checkers is a convivial game. It' not like chess. Chess is played by erudite and bloodthirsty combatants; Germany and France and all of that.
Fido is neither erudite nor bloodthirsty and checkers is the game for him.
Being a red dog, he always chooses the red pieces, so he gets the first move.
I am trying to teach Fido baseball.
Heâ€™s doing pretty well since April, but heâ€™s got a ways to go.
There is no set way to teach a dog baseball. For that matter, thereâ€™s no set way to teach a human, either. Itâ€™s an acquired thing, based on repetition.
â€śWanna learn baseball?â€ť I says to Fido as the season began. Snow was falling outside.
Fido says,â€ťHey Hey Hey Hey!â€ť
So we began.