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Fido occupies Oakland, Mammoth

November 11, 2011

“People get the wrong idea about Oakland,” Fido said.

“Yeah, I know. What makes you say that?”

“I was there for more than a month, and I didn’t see anything like the stuff that showed up on the Jon Stewart Show or the TV news.”

Fido leafed through the California section of the Sunday New York Times, pondering the pictures. When Fido reads the papers, it’s awkward because his finger dexterity is poor, and he tends to get distracted easily.

This time, he lingered.

What's Up, Up Here, Nov. 4

November 8, 2011

ictor and Dennee Alcala welcomed a baby boy, Ezra Xavier on Sept. 30. “Ezra arrived late but was well worth the wait. He has been welcomed into the world by a large, loving circle of family and friends who have provided support in countless ways,” sez the new parents. …

What's Up Up Here for Oct. 21

October 21, 2011

Our deepest condolences to longtime local Stacy Corless, who lost her sister, Lisa, on Oct. 16. Our hearts go out to Stacy and to all of Lisa’s friends and family. …

What's Up, Up Here, Oct. 14

October 17, 2011

“Welcome back, Ziggy!” That’s Ziggy, the much-beloved, black cat that belongs to Crowley Lake residents Fred and Patti Stump. Ziggy disappeared early last weekend and still wasn’t back Monday morning. As any Eastside cat owner has learned, after three days of being missing, it’s rare for a cat to come home again around here. But on Monday morning, Patti Stump decide to try again, and tapped on the closed shed door of a neighbor’s place. A hearty and cranky “meow” answered her, and Ziggy was found. Awww. …

Fido and Me – Fido tries 'doga'

September 23, 2011

“I’d like to try yoga.”

Fido lay at my feet, watching a yoga program on television.

“Well, it’s not unheard of,” I said. “People and dogs who do yoga together call it doga. They swear by it.”

“Tell me more, please,” Fido said.

“I will, but only if you tell me about this wild-hair of an idea first.”

“Oh, I don’t know, but I figure winter’s coming up pretty soon. There will be lots of days that just won’t be very pleasant outdoors, so I’m looking for something to do in here.”

“Fair enough, Fido.”

He leapt to his feet.

“Hey hey hey hey! When can we start?”

Fido and Me – A cat!?

September 16, 2011

“I think we should maybe invite a cat into our home.”

Honestly, I thought I was hearing things.

“Fido, what did you just say?”

“Maybe we should get a cat.”

You could have knocked me over with a feather. There have been plenty of cool cats cross my path over the years. There was Buster, for example, over in the East Bay, and there was the cat in Cedar Rapids that caught everyone’s attention. His name was Director.

There were dozens of others.

There have been disasters, too, such as that Cat Who Shall Not Be Named.

Fido and Me – Lockout!

August 27, 2011

Fido locked me out of the house. In the process, he locked himself in.

“Get me out of here!” he whimpered from behind the door.

“I’m trying, you big lug, but the deadbolt seems to have been tripped.”

“What’s a deadbolt?”

“A deadbolt, Fido, is the one lock on the door that I don’t have a key for! I’ve never even used the deadbolt and don’t even have a key for it. How the heck did the deadbolt get tripped?”

I tried to put the sequence together and that took a little time.

“Fido, was anyone in the house when I was gone?”

“I have to pee.”

“I know, I know. Me too!”

Fido and Me – Fido enjoys a Happy Hour and teaches me how to slurp properly

August 6, 2011

“I’d like to have a Happy Hour.”

Fido’s funny like that. He comes up with things that are so out of the blue that I hardly know what to think.

“It sure sounds like fun,” he said. “I just don’t know what it is. Let’s have one.”

“We can have as many as we want,” says I. “What’s your idea?”

“Idea? I’m a dog. I don’t have ideas. I have instincts.”

“Tell you what. After work, we’ll have a Happy Hour.”

“Hey hey hey hey!”

Fido and Me – In which Fido wants to join a dating service

July 29, 2011

Fido says he wants to join a dating service.

Me, I was listening to a baseball game, concentrating on a two-on, two-out, one-run game, and this took me by surprise.

“What the heck-fire?” said I.

“It’s not that I’m lonely, but I’d like to have someone of my ilk to share experiences, romp around, get into sniffing contests, have conversations, discuss brands of kibble, that kind of thing.

“Good God, man,” I said. “Mammoth has more dogs than humans. Are you sure you’re not already sitting on a canine gold mine?”

Fido and Me – In which Fido contemplates Nietzsche and Keats

July 22, 2011

Fido rolled over on his side and let out a long breath.

“To live alone one must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle. Leaving out the third case: one must be both - a philosopher.”

“Whaa?” I says.

Fido repeated it.

“I’ve heard this before,” says I to Fido. Me, I was listening to the baseball game.

“It’s Friedrich Nietzsche,” says Fido.

“I can hardly believe my ears,” I says to him. “You buy that?”

“Dunno,” says Fido. “I’ll believe anything if there’s a biscuit in it.”

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