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Fido & Me — TBID and CC&Rs

July 11, 2014

“I love a parade!”

 

“Fido, you are not alone, particularly if you’re in Mammoth this time of year. What’s your favorite part?”

 

“I don’t have one! I like it all! I like it most when humans drop biscuits along the way.”

 

“You’re in luck this year, then, Old Boy. Did you know there is a new Hound Council? It wouldn’t surprise me if they had lots of biscuits in their pockets.”

 

“A new Hound Council? More biscuits?”

 

“That’s what they promised during the campaign, more or less.” Remember?”

 

“I don’t remember anything. I’m a dog! I remember where to pick up my pee mail, and that’s about it.”

 

“There is not a dog on Earth that exudes ‘Dog’ as much as you do, Fido, and that’s a compliment around here. Have I told you how handsome you are with your new dog license tag?”

 

“Tell me more about the biscuits.”

 

“Fido, it’s a little bit complicated, but the Hound Council is pretty much supportive of something called The Biscuit Improvement District. They call it a TBID. To oversimplify, it means that visitors and residents of Mammoth contribute to a big bowl of biscuits, whether they want to or not, and that means all the dogs that love biscuits will get a never-ending supply.”

 

“All dogs love biscuits. This sounds like a dream come true.”

 

“Actually, Big Boy, it is a dream, fair enough, and we’ll just have to see about the ‘come true’ part later on. But during the parade, it would not surprise me if the members of the Hound Council weren’t packing some biscuits.”

 

“I love a parade for other reasons, though.”

 

“Fido, you’re adorable. What else could there possibly be?”

 

“Lots of humans! Lots of dogs, and no cats!”

 

“Cats can be in the parade if they want to, Fido. It is not an exclusionary event.”

 

“When was the last time you saw a cat in a parade?!?!?”

 

“You have a point, Mr. Beeg. I’m not sure why cats don’t like parades. Then again, I’m not sure of anything about cats, to tell you the truth. No one does, as far as I can tell.”

 

“Chief-the-Cat likes a parade, but only if he is the only one in the parade.”

 

“You have a point.”

 

“He just walks around, all day, when he’s not sleeping.”

 

“There is nothing wrong with that, I suppose.”

 

“But Chief walks around with his nose in the air. It’s like he’s expecting applause all the time.”

 

“Fido, maybe you’re just not reading Chief-the-Cat correctly, Maybe, just maybe, it’s his way of asking for something, in his way.”

 

“The only thing he ever asks for is catnip.”

 

“Then Chief just might be in luck! Have you ever heard of a CC and R? It’s another thing the Hound Council deals with. It stands for ‘Cat Catnip and Rest,’ and cats get a lot of catnip on account on that.”

 

“I would not like to be a cat.”

 

“Me neither, you Big Red Lug, but that’s neither here nor there. With a CC and R, cats not only get lots of catnip and rest, but it also means they can prevent visiting cats from coming into their neighborhoods and lapping up all the catnip! That’s why you see ‘No Cats Allowed’ on catnip grass around town.”

 

“That’s progress!”

 

“I suppose so, Fido. I suppose so.”

George, left, and Fido. Photo/Jesse Barlet
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