Having digested the whole of 2012, we’re looking forward to the New Year. Honestly, there was no way we could have predicted the events of the year just past, but we think we’ve got a pretty good handle on what’s to come, that is, if the Good Lord’s willing and the creek don’t rise.
1. President Barack Obama will appoint Marianna Marysheva-Martinez to replace Timothy Geithner as the new Secretary of the Treasury. Americans will spend-spend-spend, all the while complaining she makes too much money.
2. John Urdi will get everything he wants, including a BID on top of a BID—a tourism first.
3. Rich Boccia will lead a team to forge a new plan to replace Whitmore Pool with an Olympic-sized Aquatic Park, and name it the Boccia Center.
4. Dave McCoy will do something astonishing.
5. Having made his name in Hispanic-Police diplomacy, Dan Watson will become the U.S. Ambassador to Mexico.
6. Mammoth Mountain Ski Area will be sold by Barry Sternlicht’s mega-group to Vail Resorts’ mega-group; Rusty Gregory will stay as CEO; the lifts will run on time; Ski Patrol will be magnificent; no one will know the difference.
7. The Town of Mammoth Lakes, with an “AAA” credit rating from Standard & Poor’s, will bond out its MLLA payment at an interest rate approaching three percent, then hire nine police officers to replace the seven officers it lost during the Meltdown.
8. Bluesapalooza will expand from a four-day festival to a five-day festival, then announce plans for a weeklong festival, effectively wiping Coachella from the map.
9. The Mammoth Track Club, along with the aforesaid Urdi, will use Measure R funding for an annual, week-long, running festival on trails roads and track, effectively replacing the Texas Relays, the Drake Relays, anything that happens in Eugene, Ore. and the Kansas Relays, becoming the Center of the Universe.
10. Stacey Cook will become the greatest women’s downhill racer in the world, and get her picture on the cover of People magazine.
11. Snowboarders will take up skiing; skiers will take up snowboarding and both groups will become avid Nordic enthusiasts.
12. The Inyo National Forest will not burn down. Neither will anything else. In response, the Mammoth Lakes Fire District will erect a statue to Chief Brent Harper for what didn’t happen because of his efforts.
13. Every single abandoned pet in the Eastern Sierra will be adopted and find a happy home. As a result, Lisa Schade will announce plans for ICARE for Humans.
14. Elizabeth Tenney will announce a new volunteer project and somehow, impossibly, get it done, whatever it is.
15. North Mono County will ask Mammoth if it wants to join Mono County. Mammoth will say no, not really, and things will proceed as before.
16. Tim Fesko, having spent some time on the Board of Supervisors, will announce it’s more complicated than he thought it was going to be.
17. The Mammoth Times, having turned 25 years old this past week, will turn 26, ensuring a fire-starter for all, and all a good read.