Fido and Me: Westminster

“How do you spell ‘ridiculous?’” Fido wanted to know.

I spelled it out for him. 

“It’s a long word, Fido. Are you sure you want to try that?”
“Why not? I’m not doing anything else in particular.”
I asked Fido in what context he was using the word.
“The Westminster Dog Show,” he replied in that kind of matter of fact way he has.
Fido, as it turned out, was genuinely appalled at the way the show turned out. A Pekingese named Malachy won Best in Show. 
I myself didn’t have a whole lot of problems with that, but Fido did.
The day after the show he called a meeting of Mammoth’s Hound Council. He suggested the mountain tailwaggers deliver a resolution to the Westminster people.
“Mind if I read what you’ve got so far?” I said.
Fido showed me his scratchings, on a legal pad.
Reading Fido is a little bit like reading hieroglyphics. I doubt that anyone could actually read his notes, except for me and the other dogs on the Council.
“We, the mountain dogs of Mammoth Lakes, Calif., strongly object to your selection,” he wrote. “Why, none of us recognized that thing as a dog in the first place. We believe that thing looked like of loaf of bread, with fur. He wouldn’t last a minute in our climate.”
“Well done, Fido, but a bit dogdactic, if you catch my drift.”
“We don’t think so,” Fido said.  “We don’t even see why they even exist!”
I said to Fido that the Pekingese dog has been around since almost the beginning of recorded time. I told him that the Pekingese breed is over 2,000 years old and has hardly changed in all that time. One exception, I said, is that modern breeders and dog-show judges seem to prefer the long-haired type over the more traditional spaniel type coat.
“Please go on,” Fido said. He put his pencil behind his ear as he listened.
I told him that the Pekingese, or “Peke” (also commonly referred to as “Lion Dog”, or “Pelchie Dog” due to its resemblance to Chinese guardian lions) is an ancient breed of toy dog, originating in China. The Chinese Imperial court favored the breed, and its name refers to the city of Beijing, where the Forbidden City resides.
“Well,” said Fido, “there are two forbidden cities now, and one of them is Mammoth. We took a vote on it. It was unanimous.”
“Most of the Hound Council’s votes are unanimous,” I said.

Fido email thread

Hi Fido,
I know how much you love your spam mail but this is not one. I am trying to find a home for a wonderful spayed female cattle dog mix, Sophie. She is currently in boarding in Palmdale. She is about 3-4 years old and likes other doggies and children and belly rubs. She was wondering if I knew of anyone near where I live who might want to be loved by her and love her in return. I see your articles in the Mammoth Times and thought that maybe you might know of someone. I sent along some pics of her so that you can maybe share her info. She also has a full album on my Facebook wall. Thank you for looking at her. She is sad being in boarding but making the best of it. 
Kathi Richards
Hi Kathi,
Did Sophie ever get a home?!? I am a rescue dog myself.
Hey Fido,

Yes, Sophie found a home in Oregon. Her new mama, and best friend, loves her. They have more snow up there and she took her out snowshoeing on Mt. Hood. Sophie is so happy. Thanks for asking. 
Woof woof.