Fido & Me - The Week that Was


“Wotta week!” Fido said.

“Yes, it sure was. You must be exhausted, Old Sport.”

“That’s OK, because I’m a dog, and even when we’re exhausted, if there is still a little bit of fuel in the tank, we can keep on going.”

“Well put. Humans aren’t quite like that, and the older they get, well, you know. Did you have a favorite part?”

Fido showed no hesitation. He wagged his stump.

“Foolsday was my favorite part!”

“You mean Tuesday, I presume.”

“It’s the one right after Funday, and Funday this past week was fun all day. There was that nice spritz of snow in the morning, and it was really, really cold. So I put on my big, red, fur coat and had a blast, generally.”

“Yeah, but some like it hot.”

“Well, nobody’s perfect!”

“You got that right, Fido. So what happened on Foolsday?”

“It was my birthday! The best ever. The Hound Council gave me a Key to the City!”


“So I went all over town, unlocking Mammoth’s secrets! There wasn’t enough time in the day, what with finding out whose dog is sniffing whose dog, who’s sitting on all the biscuits, and the business about what’s up with business.”

“What did you find out?”

“People are doing a great job at picking up their dogs’ business, but not their own.”

“You’re a riot sometimes, Fido.”

“And I loved-loved the State of the Union Suit speech. I have no idea what he was talking about, but he did not say anything about dependence on foreign treats. It was Lincoln’s Birthday, too!”

“That’s how we figured out what yours was, you know.”

“Because Lincoln had a dog named Fido!” Fido cried.

“Correcto, Big Boy, and I hear he got his Fido from a shelter, just like I did with you.”

“The Great Emancipator,” Fido sighed. “And it was Mardi Gras, too. I loved dancing to the zydeco and all the other stuff.”

“Gosh, with Foolsday alone I’d think you’d be hangdog tired.”

“But I wasn’t! Valentine’s Day was on Fursday. What a time I had.”

“Again I have to ask, Fido, what draws you to Valentine’s Day? You being, shall we say, incapacitated.”

“The doctors may have taken away my oysters, but they didn’t take a piece of my heart.”

“So tell me about your Valentine’s Day.”

“I gave everyone I know a piece of my heart! There’s enough to go around. D-O-G is G-O-D spelled backward, and most every dog in the whole world knows that. And there was the Westminster Dog Show, too. I note with consternation that once again, they did not have a ‘Good ol’ Mutt’ category.”

“Well, Fido, they ought to. You’d win every year.”